Avatar on a Plane
by Jess189
Summary: What happens when the cast of Avatar must ride on a plane together? The first tale in a soon to be series of misfit comedies staring the best cartoon characters around. NOT a oneshot
1. Chapter of Doom

A/N: Am I crazy? You better believe. Inspiration has struck this fan fiction author and what you are about to read is Chapter One in a series of hopefully-hilarious adventures with the cast of the Avatar. WARNING: They are completely crazy and though connected in plot, there not connected too much else. Including the TV storyline. After all, how many times have you seen a plane on Avatar? Ah well, enjoy and if you like it I'll right more crazy adventures that promise to have lots of humor and other randomness!

Chapter One

"Now boarding Flight 903, please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy your flight."

"I can't enjoy my flight! I hate flying! I hate planes! I hate hating things!" An angry voice shouted and echoed through out the plane. Katara, having finally found her seat, turned to see who she would be sharing this three hour plane ride with.

"You!" she screamed, jumping up in shock. Sitting there in the seat beside what was suppose to be hers was none other than the yelling Prince Zuko himself who looking madder than a wet hen with its head cut off….or something like that.

"And I hate armrests! And I hate copilots! And I hate snakes! There had better not be any snakes on this plane!" Zuko squawked. He stopped abruptly when he saw who was standing in the aisle staring at him. "And I hate you!" he said jumping up.

"No way!" Katara shrieked, throwing down her twelve bright pink suitcases. "I will _not _next to the Fire Prince!" She stomped her foot angrily.

"Ma'am?" A flight attendant with blonde hair tapped Katara on the shoulder. "You need to sit down."

"But-" Katara protested.

"Sit!" the lady yelled. She glared. Katara glared back. She gave her a death stare. Katara sat down.

"Hi Katara! Look we're flying!" Aang's eyes poked over the seat in front of her since he was to short for her to see anything else. Sokka was sitting beside him looking out the window with a look of sheer terror.

"I hate flying!" he moaned, clutching his stomach.

"This is just like being on Appa!" Aang said excitedly. "Well…if he was made of metal, weighed a few hundred tons, and had his own copilot." He added.

"I hate copilots!" Zuko shouted, sending a fireball at the nearest empty seat.

A tiny buzzer promptly sounded and dumped a bucket of water on Zuko's head. He roared in anger and gagged on the water.

A robotic voice sounded from above. "Thank you for using our In-Motion Fire- Annihilation Tool. Please enjoy your flight."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Zuko yelled. "IMFAT?"

Katara choked on the soda she was conveniently drinking and it spewed out her nose. "Zuko just said he was fat!" she laughed.

"What! I did not!" Zuko's hands flared up again and he was once again washed down with water from above. "I hate water!" he yelled. "I hate this plane! Do you know how I feel right now!"

"Fat?" Katara asked.

"No!" Zuko screamed and folded his arms in anger.

There was a lurch then and the captain went through the boring opening speech of safety and floatation devices.

"So why are you on this plane anyway?" Katara asked as the plane took off and Sokka searched in vain for a motion sickness bag.

"I'll never tell you!" Zuko screamed.

"Please?"

"My Uncle thought I should go visit my father and that if I hijack this plane then I could give it to him as a gift."

"Oh, ok." Katara said.

"Why are you here water peasant?" he snarled. He was suddenly doused with a wave of water. "What the-!"

"Thank you for using our In-Motion Getaway-Annoying-Youth device." Another robotic chirped at them.

"What?" Zuko said even more angrily, "That makes even less sense than the last one! IMGA-"

"Well you see," Katara interrupted, not paying attention to the Fire Prince's near blunder, "Me, Sokka, and AANG!" She suddenly shouted in his ear causing him to jump back and hit his head on the window.

"Why are you yelling!"

"I don't know. AANG! asked that we shout his name as loud as possible when we say it. He thinks it will boost his self confidence or something."

"Oh ok. Well continue with your story." Zuko said, rubbing the back of his head.

"OK, me, Sokka, and-"

"NO, NO!" Zuko shouted quickly, "Skip that part!"

"Well we decided that it would be easier to get to the North Pole if we flew there by plane instead of on Appa."

"But I thought you had already made it to the North Pole?"

"Well we have but the author of this fan fiction has asked that we pretend that episode never happened so that we don't ruin her creative muse."

"That makes sense." Zuko said nodding.

"Katara?"

"Yes, AANG!" Katara screamed.

"AHH!" Zuko yelped covering his ears. He was promptly sprayed with water. "What did I do this time!" He yelled at the intercom above him.

"Nothing," was the monotonous reply. "I just don't like you."

Zuko crossed his arms and pouted.

"Yes, AANG!" Katara screamed again.

"Will you knock it off!" Zuko yelled.

"I'm going to be sick." Sokka groaned.

"Peanuts?"

They all looked up to see the stewardess standing there with a cart of food.

"Yes please." Katara said.

"Yes." Zuko grumbled.

They both took their packets and Katara began to dig in. Zuko stared at his. He turned it over. "Instructions," He muttered out loud. "Open package. Eat nuts." He stared at it for a moment. "I HATE CONFUSING INSTRUCTIONS!" he yelled ripping at the bag.

_Half-an-Hour Later_

"Open foul nuts!" Zuko screamed. He tugged with all his might and finally they opened. Or to be more accurate, finally they exploded, raining peanuts everywhere.

"Oh, good. Peanuts, my favorite." Uncle Iroh said.

"Uncle!" Zuko said in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Why I'm here to make the story dramatic!" Iroh said with a bow which caused him to hit his head on the seat. He sat back and stared at his nephew who was sitting in front of him.

"I love drama!" Katara said happily. "Don't you AANG!"

"If you do that one more time I'm going to hi-jack this plane, fly it to the Fire Nation, and give it to my father as a present so he will give me back my honor and have the Avatar once and for all to rule the world!"

Katara stared at Zuko

Zuko stared at Katara.

Katara stared at Zuko.

Zuko waited.

Katara waited.

Aang waited.

Sokka threw up.

"AANG!" Katara screamed.

"That's it!" Zuko jumped up and vaulted over the seat into the aisle, tripped over one of Katara's many suitcases and sprawled in the aisle. He stood up and ran into the cockpit.

The captain's voice came over the intercom, "Passengers we would like to thank you for flying Crash and Burn Airlines and inform you that we are now being hijacked. Please enjoy the relaxing music while control of the plane changes hands and we find ourselves at the mercy of a merciless fire bender. And also we would like to thank the Avatar, AANG! for flying with us."

"Your welcome!" Aang sang happily.

The plane bounced and then a new voice came over the intercom. "Ladies and gentleman this is your hijacker speaking. Um I would like to thank my Uncle Iroh for getting me where I am today, my father for being a senseless jerk so that I could be scarred for life and hate every living creature and um …..yeah that's pretty much all I have to say, thank you." Zuko put down the microphone. There was polite, scattered applause. Then they settled down into tranquil peace. All of the two and a half seconds it lasted.

"MAYDAY!" Zuko screamed over the intercom as the plane suddenly did a nose dive. "MAYDAY! There is a giant flying bison on the windshield! I can't see a thing! We're going to die! We're going to die! Oh wow, I found some more peanuts. We're going to die!"

"AANG!" Katara yelled.

"AANG!" Aang yelled back.

"Why did you just yell your own name?" Sokka asked, looking up from his barf bag.

"I was feeling particularly low on self confidence at the moment." Aang said.

"Oh, ok." Sokka said and promptly dove under the seat.

"Maybe you should tell everyone to type my name in all CAPS when they review this story so it will boost my self esteem." Aang said.

"Forget about that AANG!" Katara yelled in frustration. "Why is Appa on the plane windshield?"

"Well where else was I supposed to put him? He has to come with us you know."

"Oh gee, I don't know, maybe he could have FLOWN!" Katara shouted.

"Oh." Aang said. "HEY APPA!" He shouted. "IT'S OK! YOU CAN FLY!" There was a thump as what they assumed was a large white bison taking off from a plane.

"AHH!" The intercom suddenly shouted.

"No, it's AANG!" Sokka shouted from under the seat. "Not AHH!"

"No!" The intercom shouted back. "We're about to crash!"

"Where!" Katara screamed as the plane began to drop.

"Oh, it's terrible!" Zuko wailed.

"Where!" Aang shouted.

"Oh, I can't look!" Zuko screeched.

"Whmph!" Appa growled.

"It's….it's…Disneyland!" Zuko screamed and then everything went black.

A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Oh the terror! What will happen next?

Zuko: At least there weren't any snakes on this plane.

Katara: Zuko that is the worst pun ever.

Zuko: Or ladies in that water.

Katara: That's even worse.

Zuko: Or…um…Snakes in a Lady…er…on the water….under a plane….

Katara: Ok just stop and let the poor people review before you scare them off.

Aang: AANG!

Everyone: Oh shut up!

A/N: And if people seem to like this fan fiction then I think it would be awesome to do one of the chapters as a madlib, you know where you right a list of words like noun, adjective, and then fill in the blanks in the story with them. Tell me what you think.


	2. Get Busy with the Zuko

A/N: Ok I finally got the second chapter up. Tell me what you think and be brutally honest! By the way with the exception of the first chapter, I am now using the Slogan Generator website to create the names of the chapters. I type in a word, Zuko for this one, and it gives me a random slogan. It's fun so pay attention to the chapter names from now on, maybe some of them will turn out to be funny.

Chapter Two

"GNAA! GNAA! We're going to crash!" Katara shrieked, conveniently close to Zuko's ear.

"What in Great Fire Lord Ozai's name are you yelling!" Zuko shouted over the sound of the roaring engines which had just burst into flame. "And how did you get in the cockpit!"

"I don't know." Katara said calmly. "But AANG…I mean….GNAA in those few seconds of transition between Chapter One and Chapter Two has asked that we now shout his name backwards."

"Yhw! I mean… why!" Zuko shouted over the still roaring engines which had now become lions. How ironic.

"I don't know. Call it a moment of zany inspiration from the narrator." Katara answered waving at the narrator. I waved back.

"Will you cut that out! We're in the middle of a crisis!" Zuko said, sounding slightly high pitched.

"Zuko are you having a panic attack?" Katara asked. "Cause if you are I know CPR."

"Katara!" Sokka shouted from his seat where he was now armed with a flame-throwing barf bag launcher so that he could have motion sickness bags and fire on the go.

"What?"

"GNAA wants, ugh, hold on..." Sokka turned green as the plane did a sharp nose dive and quickly pulled the trigger on his gun. "Stop messing with my gun, plane!" he said, and then pulled the trigger himself.

"Oh great," Zuko muttered, "Word play."

Sokka looked at it expectantly and realized a second to late that a flame-throwing barf bag launcher was probably not the best idea as a flaming paper bag smacked him in the face causing him to scream and run around like a giant horse with a flaming tea kettle tied to its hind quarters, and other random metaphors.

A robotic voice began to talk over the loud speaker. "Please fasten your seatbelts passengers. We will be experiencing slight turbulence, death, destruction, and flames. Thank you and have a nice day."

Then they all plummeted down towards the waiting evil Disneyland below. There shouts were mixed together and none of their voices could be distinguished from the others.

"We're going to die!"

"No! Make it stop!"

"MY FACE IS ON FIRE!"

Well ok, _almost _none.

Then they crashed. In a great flame of fiery glory and destruction. And that was the end of the cast of the Avatar.

Just kidding! (Had you going there didn't I?)

"I hate flying." Sokka sighed as he attempted to heave a piece of the plane's wing off of him.

"I hate everything." Zuko snapped as he helped Uncle Iroh heave a piece of the propeller off of him.

"I love the world!" GNAA shouted happily as he pushed Samuel L. Jackson off of him.

"Hey!" Katara cried. "It's Samuel L. Jackson!" Samuel L. Jackson did a bow, accepted an award for his brief cameo and took off. Literally.

"Amazing how he can fly a plane with one wing and no engines." Sokka said shaking his head in awe.

"Well, as the old proverb says," Uncle Iroh intoned, "When life gives you lemons, let Samuel L. Jackson fly away with them." He gave a peaceful sigh and meditated on his new found wisdom.

"Garsh, what's going on here?" a voice said from somewhere to the group's near left.

"Oh great balls of fire it's Fire Lord Ozai!" Zuko screamed, running for his life.

"Whatcha mean Fire Lord?" the strange creature asked. "I'm Goofy."

Zuko de-ran for his life back to the group. "Oh. Well I didn't find it very funny." He stared at the weird dog thing in front of them.

"Me neither." Goofy said.

"But you just said you were Goofy!" Zuko shouted.

"I am. And you are?"

"I am not!" Zuko said, pulling at his hair.

"Nice to meet you, I Am Not." Goofy said pleasantly.

"But you just said you were!" Zuko cried, pulling at his eyebrows.

"Said I was what?"

"Goofy!"

"Yes?"

"But you said you weren't!"

"Weren't what?"

"GOOFY!"

"Yes?"

"ARGH!" Zuko screamed and tried to run away again but Katara tripped him.

Goofy chuckled his strange laugh. "Garsh, you're goofy." He said to her.

"ARGHH!" Zuko said mid-panic attack.

"Hmm, maybe you should leave," Katara said to Goofy. "I believe your scaring the poor Fire Prince."

"Alrighty then." He said all too cheerfully and promptly burst into flame.

"Hey, what's that?" GNAA asked, pointing away into the distance, about three feet in front of them.

"It looks like a castle." Uncle Iroh, now finished meditating, said looking up.

"Oh, how pretty!" Katara squealed. "I've always wanted to live in a castle!"

"Me too!" Zuko shouted.

Everyone slowly turned to stare at him.

"Um…..I mean, how disgusting!" he spat on the ground for emphasis, only missed and got it on Sokka's shoe.

"Yuck!" Sokka squealed and ran away.

"I told you we were heading towards Disneyland." Zuko said in a know-it-all voice.

"Well I guess you were right." Katara said grumpily, angry at having to tell someone they were right.

"Welcome to Disneyland! Home of the- hey I know you!" another random voice said from their right.

"Jet!" Katara asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I have been hired part time at minimum wage to run some of the rides here. I've decided it is a good way to stop the FIRE NATION!" He shouted the last part as he noticed Zuko standing there looking like a know-it-all.

"You scum!" Jet said, jumping around in anger, "If I was on break right now I would kick your-"

"AS I was saying!" Katara cut in, "Let's go look at the castle."

"You can't, it's closed right now." Jet said. He suddenly got very quiet and looked at them with a glint of danger in his eye.

"Hey!" GNAA shouted. "Hey! Narrator! Yoo-hoo!"

What do you want GNAA! I'm trying to finish your story! You're not supposed to talk to me during the story!

"I was wondering if the fact that Jet has a glint of danger in his eye means something bad is going to happen."

Look, just wait and find out! If I told you then you wouldn't be oblivious to his plan to capture you all because he's actually a double agent working for the Fire Lord who has hired him to force people to be in his Dancing- but I'm getting ahead of myself. On with the story!

"You know," Jet said, stroking his chin in thought, "There _is _one ride open. Convenient how that is the only ride open in the entire park on a Friday, isn't it? Maybe you should ride that and completely not think that it's a trap."

"That is brilliant!" Iroh said. "Let's go!"

They all took of at a run in a random direction which happened to be the direction of the ride, except for Sokka who was still running in circles screaming about having Zuko's spit on his shoe.

"Wait!" Uncle Iroh shouted, suddenly holding up a hand. They all came to a crashing halt.

"What is it?" Katara asked, looking around for danger.

"I must think of a proverb for this before we get on the ride!" He sat down and began to meditate.

Zuko tapped his foot impatiently.

Katara sighed.

Goofy ran by on fire.

"Didn't know he was funny _and _could walk on fire." Zuko said absentmindedly. "Oh great," he sighed. "Now _I'm _doing the wordplay."

"I've got it!" Iroh screeched, causing GNAA to scream in fright and kick Zuko in the shin.

"AH!" Zuko screamed, as any of us would do if kicked in the shin.

"The proverb for today is…" Iroh paused for dramatic suspense, "Fat people are harder to kidnap." He smiled pleasantly and turned to Zuko. "And now I'm going to kick you in the shin."

WHACK!

"AH! For the love of Appa and all his cigar-smoking monkeys!"

"This way to the ride!" Jet cried suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. "This Chapter must end some time!"

"Alright." Iroh said and they all walked-

"SOME of us are not so fortunate to be able to walk!"

Ok, fine! and they all _limped_-

"Hey, I'm not limping!" Katara whined. Zuko punched her in the stomach.

"Now you are."

And they all walked, _limped_, and/or hobbled to the ride labeled Space Mountain, where there fate would soon be sealed.

"That's a weird word." GNAA said.

Where there fate would soon be silenced.

"So is that," Katara giggled.

Where there fate would soon be CHOSEN, DECIDED, DETERMINED, COMPLETED, CONCLUDED, take your pick!

"But-"

GET ON THE RIDE! Don't make me write you out of existence!

And with that lovely parting note they flung themselves onto the ride to escape the dread of the Backspace key.


	3. An Army of Jet

Chapter Three

"MUWHAHA!" Jet cackled viciously.

Wait, wait, wait! I haven't even started the Chapter yet!

"Hey listen you stupid Narrator! This Chapter starts when I _say _it starts, so there!" Jet snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Don't mess with me girlfriend!"

Ok, that is it! I'm writing you out of existence young man!

Erase-

"Wait!" Katara shrieked. "We need him for the story!"

Ok fine.

"Geez, I was just kidding." Je said angrily. "Hey!" He screamed and started running around in a panic. "Why is my name Je?"

Because I was in the process of writing you out of existence so now only ¾ of you is there. You are now Je.

"ON WITH THE STORY!" Sokka screamed as he fell through the air past the waiting ride and into darkness.

"Anyway," a rather nervous Je continued. "The ride and your DOOM starts now!"

"Wait!" Zuko shouted, "Did you say- AHH!" He screamed as they suddenly plummeted into darkness.

"No, no I didn't." Je said.

"He said DOOM!" Katara screamed in Zuko's ear as they zipped along the track.

"I know!" Zuko shrieked back. Katara looked at him for a moment.

Then she punched him in the stomach.

"Oh for the love of the Fire Lord and all his space cadets!" Zuko groaned.

"This is quite relaxing." Iroh said pleasantly.

"Umph!" Sokka groaned as he landed in one of the empty seats.

"Wait! This seat isn't empty!"

Correction, as he landed in Zuko's lap.

"SPIT THROWER!" Sokka screamed, foaming at the mouth, and began to beat Zuko over the head with his shoe.

"Hey!" Katara said pointing, "I see a light."

They all stopped what they were doing-

"DIE, DIE, DIE!" Except for Sokka that is-

And stared at the light.

"Do you think it's getting closer?" Iroh asked.

"Hmm.." said Katara.

WHACK! The ride stopped suddenly and they were all catapulted through a giant door of light into the cavernous hall of the Fire Lord waiting below.

Insert Intermission

Hey kids, while you're waiting for the intermission to end, why don't you go review this story? No? Well fine. It was only a suggestion!

End Intermission

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zuko screamed.

Katara smacked him. He began to suck on his thumb. She smacked his hand. He began to suck on her thumb. She punched him in the face.

They all landed with a rather loud thud on some cushions that were placed on the floor. The front of the hall was a gigantic stage. The entire hall was huge and decorated in red and orange. (Big surprise.)

"Hey I heard that!" Zuko muttered.

Katara punched him again.

The doors slammed shut and the hole in the ceiling slammed shut. And Zuko's mouth slammed shut at the risk of being punched a third time.

"LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE!" Katara screamed, jumping up and down, flapping her arms three times, and standing on her head.

Zuko stared at her.

"What?" She asked, sitting back down and smoothing her hair. "That's what AANG, no wait LEE-"

"No don't start it again!" he shouted quickly.

"Has asked to be called." Katara said calmly.

"Why must he keep changing his name!" Zuko roared.

"I like it," Katara said.

"Well I think it sounds like your doing a mating call!"

Katara tackled him off screen and various stereotypical fighting noises could be heard over the cheap movie theatre sound system.

"Stupid speakers," muttered Sokka, "They're a piece of-"

"SHush!" A voice boomed suddenly and the lights dimmed into a red glow that cast weird shadows across the room.

"Prepare yourselves!" the voice roared again, coming from all sides at once. Katara and Zuko rolled back on screen and sat on their cushions, Zuko looking slightly as if he had been ran over my a horse, kicked in the head, ran over by the horse in reverse, thrown in a river, smacked in the head with a horse-

"Alright they get the point." Zuko said huffily.

"Be warned!" The voice began again.

"Man that voice is creepy!" LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE whispered.

"For you are about the experience the TERROR!"

LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE hid under his cushion.

"The HORROR!"

Sokka fainted.

"The SHEER MONSTROSITY!"

Katara and Zuko grabbed each other.

"The INESCAPABLE DOOM!"

Iroh drank some tea.

"Of," The lights suddenly burst into blinding white light, "The FIRE LORD'S DANCING BALLET OF DOOM!"

"NO-" Katara screamed, "Wait! Did"

"He" Iroh chimed in.

"Just" LEEKY (name shortened due to writer's cramp) said.

"Say" Sokka whispered.

"DANCING!" Zuko asked, his mouth open in awe.

WARNING: The following segment includes disturbing scenes that involve sheer chaos and ballet. Not for sensitive readers or the dance impaired.

"Ta-da!" Then, to their complete shock and horror, the Fire Lord himself appeared on stage wearing…..a TUTU!

"AHH!" Zuko screamed. "NOO!"

A troop of Fire Nation soldiers appeared in leotards and their masks.

"It burns!" Katara shrieked falling over.

"Ah, one! Two! One, two, three, four!" The Fire Lord bellowed and they all began to pirouette across the stage.

"Does anyone else notice that they have riffles?" Sokka asked pointing. Sure enough they were each dancing with a gun.

"But I thought they could fire bend." LEEKY said.

Call it a plot hole LEEKY and leave it at that.

Music blared around them.

"Dun! Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN!" The guards sang as they twirled. "Dun dun dun dun BANG BANG!" They fired shots over the crowd's heads for emphasis.

"EEE!" Katara screamed and grabbed Zuko in fright. Again. There's your Katara/Zuko pairing for this flick- er…fic.

"Oh no!" Sokka moaned, "They're starting to sing!"

Sure enough the guards had burst into song to the tune of a popular swing beat."

"Oh, we're the Fire Nation, we can't be beat!

We like to dance but we won't rub your feet!

We've brought you here to see our show!

But there's a little trick here, you know!

If you watch us dance and sing, you see!

You'll be trapped with us for eternity!

Whoa-oo-ooooo!"

"NOO!" Zuko screamed again. "We won't watch your show!"

The guards spontaneously burst into flame.

"Curses!" the Fire Lord roared. "I see you have found the guard's one weakness!"

"Well that was lame." Sokka muttered. A giant moth descended from the ceiling and latched onto his neck.

"AHH!" He screamed, and ran through the only open door, marked EXIT.

"You won't get away with this!" Zuko screamed, "Er….whatever it is your trying to get away with seeing as we just ruined your plan in less than sixty seconds…"

"Yes but I know a secret, one that will TEAR YOUR LIFE TO SHREDS!" Flames erupted behind him.

"What?" Zuko squeaked, fear rising inside him like a tidal wave inside an office building with no windows.

"Zuko," the Fire Lord hissed.

"No!" Zuko screamed. "I knew it! You killed my father!"

"No Zuko!" More flames. "I _am _your father!"

"NOOOO-wait, I already knew that." Zuko said, crossing his arms.

"I know," the Fire Lord answered, letting out an unnaturally high giggle, "I've just always wanted to say that." And with that he disappeared.

"This way to the exit!" Je said brightly, appearing out of nowhere as characters in this fic tend to do.

"Well that ride sucked." Katara said dejectedly as they all filed towards the door.

"This leads me to my newest piece of advance," Iroh said solemnly, "When thy shorts are on fire, stop, drop, and roll."

"What?" Zuko asked in confusion.

Katara laughed. "Your on fire Zuko!"

"OH GREAT FIRE BENDING SKILLS OF SPIDER MONKEYS! Put me out!" He screamed and with that ran off screen into Chapter Four.

A/N:

Je: Can I have my name back?

Me: NEVER!

Je runs off screen crying

Me: Well….maybe if your really nice.

Je: sniff sniff……..throws pie at narrator

Me: That is IT! You are now J! DO NOT make me erase you entirely!

J: screams like a girl and runs in fear

Well, read and review as always! And don't forget to watch Snakes on a Plane! Maybe if I advertise it enough they'll pay me part of their earnings from the movie….Hmm…..


	4. Daddy or Fire Lord?

Chapter Four

A/N: I have a couple things to say before with we get started with this chapter.

Zuko: Hurry! I'm on Fire!

Ok, Ok. I'd just like to say thank you for reading and/or reviewing. Thanks to all of you who read this and are to lazy to review, cause we all need people like that in the world for…..something. And I'd like to give a shout out of thanks to two people whose ideas I have used in this story or will use in this Chapter and I apologize for not giving credit for it earlier than this. So a big thank you to LORD-BIG-DOGGIE for being very inspirational and for the drawing you did of this story . I really loved it! And a big thanks to SoccerChic101 for their ideas which I have used some in this Chapter.

Zuko: Please hurry, I think my boxers are smoldering.

Ok, on with the story!

Katara and the rest of them raced after the smoking Zuko and caught up with him in Chapter Four.

"Zuko your on fire!" Katara said, pointing.

"I know!" He screamed back, running in circles. "You made that very clear last chapter! Now put me out!"

"Alright! Hold still!" Katara chased after Zuko who continued to run in the opposite direction. They ran through the door marked EXIT and found themselves in none other than the Fire Nation itself.

Katara did a flying leap through the air and landed on Zuko with a thud. Unfortunately J (formerly known as Jet until he made the narrator angry….grr….), had the same idea and landed on top of Katara who was on top of the flaming Zuko. Which is a statement meaning he is on fire and in no way refers to his early statement of IMGA-

"They get the point!" Zuko shrieked as Iroh landed on top of J, Katara, and Zuko and Barkfus landed on top of all of them.

"Ok, who in the name of all things tiny and neon pink is Barkfus?" Zuko said in complete confusion.

"That would be AANG, wait do I mean GNAA, or was it…AAH!" Katara shrieked as J accidentally smashed his elbow in her ear.

"I am so sorry." J said.

"No your not!" Katara said angrily.

"Your right," J said, "But seeing as I only have one letter left in my name I think it best I don't make anyone angry right now."

"Well I'm glad you are all so interested in your own personal problems," Zuko's muffled voice said from the bottom of the people pile, "But would you please GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!"

They quickly jumped off the only slightly smoking Zuko who promptly glared at them and crossed his arms in anger.

"And why is he called Barkfus now?" Zuko asked angrily. "You know, back in my day we didn't change our names. Our parents named us and we stuck with it. Of course we also lived with twenty-eight other siblings inside a cardboard box covered in rabid wolves who walked twelve miles naked in the snow to get to school."

Everyone sighed in memory of the good old days.

"Well you see," Katara said finally after they were all done reminiscing," Barkfus has decided that he is a dog and has asked to be called Barkfus for….actually I don't know why. I just nod and smile whenever he talks…er…barks."

As if on cue (which it probably is since I'm the one telling this story), Barkfus flew in on his glider, landed on all fours, and bit Zuko on the leg.

"Oh for the love of my great-great-great uncle Chester and his small Chihuahua flowers!" Zuko screamed in anguish.

"Bark!" Aang said. Well, technically barked. Actually he said bark. Or maybe he barked said? Ah well.

"Well since we're all here," Sokka said, "Let's go….um….where ever the plot of this story is going next."

"I think it went that way," Iroh said, pointing conveniently in the direction of the Fire Nation Capitol.

"No you idiot," J said, then realized he was being mean again, "I mean you wonderful sweet smelling old man. The plot went that way." He pointed in the opposite direction.

"Hey look!" Zuko said, pointing at something on the ground. "There's an unidentified object lying on the ground. Normally it's a bad idea to pick objects like that up but I think I can make an exception this time." He bent and picked it up.

"Hi!" The object said. Zuko screamed and threw it at Katara who ducked, causing it to hit Barkfus in the face. He growled and charged Zuko.

"AAH! AAH!" Zuko screamed and ran forward, tripped over the strange object, and landed on the ground. Barkfus bit him on the leg again. Zuko bawled like a little girl. Barkfus barked. Katara smiled and nodded.

"What should we do?" Sokka asked, looking at Zuko who was now curled into the fetal position and sucking his thumb.

"As the old and wise proverb says," Iroh intoned, "Ask a fatter man and you can eat your cake too."

They all stared at him in confusion.

"Let's just wait until he calms down a bit and then we can see what this strange talking object is," Katara said.

"Ok," everyone agreed.

Three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-seven seconds later

"Is he ever going to stop!" Sokka screamed, tearing out his hair in agony. He ran in a circle around Zuko and pulled some of _his _hair out. This caused Zuko to slap him and Barkfus to bark. Naturally.

"Ok fine, I can't take much more of this!" Katara grabbed Zuko by the scruff of his neck, hauled him to his feet, and kissed him.

Zuko gaped at her in pure shock. Well, after they were done kissing.

Everyone stared at Katara in pure shock, also after they were done kissing. After Zuko and Katara were done kissing that is, not everyone else.

Iroh drank some tea in pure shock. It involved no kissing.

"What, did…but..you, I did?" Zuko stammered.

"Oh come on," Katara said huffily, "I only did that so you would stop screaming like a small chimpanzee. Actually it would probably be a rather large chimpanzee seeing as how you were screaming so loudly. Though it was a rather girlish scream. Like a large chimpanzee screaming after he'd just been kicked in the-"

"NUTS!" Iroh screamed.

They all stared at him.

"I spilled my tea." He said calmly, and walked away.

"Well then, let's examine this strange object before anything else weird or comical happens." Aang said calmly.

"Aang!" Katara shrieked. "Your name is back to normal!"

"Why yes it is." Aang said patiently. "I am actually a member of the FBI. I was made Avatar as a part of the witness protection program and put inside that iceberg to save me from the German mafia who want to kill me."

"Wow! Really?" Sokka asked, gaping.

"No!" Aang laughed, jumped on his glider, and flew off into the sky.

"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.

"Zuko what are you doing?" Sokka asked, staring at the Fire Prince.

"I'm in love!" Zuko sang, twirling around in circles. "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, love, love! I feel like a dove! I would like to give you…um," he stopped, trying to think of a word that rhymed while scratching his nonexistent beard.

"A shove?" Aang asked, swooping down and knocking Zuko over before taking off again.

"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.

"Uh-oh." Sokka said.

"What?" Zuko sang back.

"WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Sokka shouted.

"I caaaaaaaaaaaaan't help it." Zuko squawked, opera style.

Sokka sighed. "Anyway, I believe Aang has officially lost his marbles," a couple blue ones hit Sokka on the head, "Katara is stuck saying 'Good old Aang', and we still don't know what that strange talking _thing _is." He pointed at the object on the ground which they could now see was shaped like some furry creature with four eyes.

"I'll see what it is!" Zuko chirped, picking flower petals off a daisy while silently singing, she loves me, she loves me not.

He danced over and picked up the furry creature that for future reference will now be called…um…

"Pizzazz!" Zuko warbled.

Ok fine, Pizzazz. Crazy hormonal teenager. Narrator shakes head.

Zuko picked up Pizzazz.

"Hi!" Pizzazz bellowed at the top if his/her lungs.

"Eeee!" Zuko screamed at a perfect high C pitch.

"Mmm High C," Aang said, swooping by again with some fruity juice.

"I am your personal Fire Nation tour guide!" Pizzazz said.

"Good old Aang," Katara said happily.

"Grrr," Sokka growled.

"If you would like a tour of the Fire Nation, please press one." Pizzazz said in his slightly robotic and extremely loud voice.

"What?" Zuko asked, forgetting to sing. "But there _are _no buttons!"

"Invalid selection." Pizzazz replied happily. "Please press one."

"I can't press one!" Zuko screamed. "You don't have any buttons!"

"Please press one."

"AAHH!" Zuko shook Pizzazz. Pizzazz stared at him.

"Valid selection, thank you." It said calmly.

"Finally," Zuko muttered.

"Please press two."

"AHH!" Zuko threw Pizzazz at Katara and ran away screaming.

"Yo homies, what be up which you?" A voice suddenly said from behind them. A boombox began to play out of nowhere, which is probably the name of a real song but for this purpose is merely a metaphor meaning the characters couldn't see where it was. It was nowhere. Playing. Out of.

They all turned around slowly. Katara screamed in horror at what she saw and promptly fainted.

"Is it the Fire Lord again?" Aang asked, swooping by once again.

"No!" Sokka squeaked in sheer terror. "It's….it's Iroh! And he's dressed as a rapper!"

"NOOOOO!" Zuko moaned, falling to his knees in defeat.

"Wait I thought he was still running around in circles." Pizzazz bellowed.

Your right Pizzazz. Run, Zuko, Run!

"But I don't want to, my feet hurt." Zuko pouted.

"RUN!" Pizzazz and the narrator screamed and Pizzazz kicked Zuko in the eye.

"MY EYE!" Zuko screamed as he ran away.

"Take that fool!" what we really hope is not Iroh said.

They all turned in horror again to look at Iroh. Sure enough, he no longer looked like a member of the Fire Nation. He was dressed in saggy blue jeans, a shirt that said PHAT across the front, a baseball cap on backwards, and lots of bling-bling. It was utterly disturbing. It's freaking me out just writing it. Shudder.

"Iroh?" Sokka asked. "What are you doing?"

"What's it to ya? You trippin' bout my appearance? I be kickin' it old school!" He crossed his arms and nodded. "Yo!" he quickly added, realizing he'd forget to say it in the previous sentence.

"Well now I've seen it all." Sokka groaned. The Fire Lord ran by naked.

"AHH! IT BURNS!" Sokka ran off after Zuko in tears.

"This way to the 3-D ride!" Pizzazz whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Aang asked, finally able to land now that all the XXX rated nudity was over and his child-like eyes would not be burned to a crisp.

"I don't know." Pizzazz said.

"Yeah, fool. You wanna go shorty?" Iroh said, getting up in Aang's face.

"Yeah I wanna go!" Aang shouted back.

"Then let's go!" Iroh shouted dictionary back back? Ah well, sounds good. Iroh shouted back back.

"Ok!" Aang shouted back back back. And they skipped away together to find something to eat.

Suddenly Zuko ran by covered in angry rabid ducks.

"Get them oooooofff!" He screamed as he flew by, no pun intended. Some jumped off and landed on Sokka who tripped and hit a nearby barrel which wouldn't have mattered except it knocked down Zuko who fell into a pipe which was holding up a building which smacked Iroh in the head, which knocked his sense back into him, which caused him to throw his rapper clothes on Aang (luckily he was wearing his Fire Nation outfit underneath), who couldn't see, who ran into a random donkey, which kicked a pillar, which hit a building, that hit another building, which hit another building, which hit another building…

BOOM! They all coughed and waved away the dust in front of there faces.

"Oh no," Zuko said in shock, completely forgetting the ducks.

In less than thirty seconds they had managed to destroy the entire fire nation.

"Maybe we should go to that 3-D ride Pizzazz was talking about," Sokka said nervously, staring at the damage and rumble that was once an empire.

"Good old Aang," Katara said happily and they all set off for the ride.


End file.
